You’re Not Meant To Live Life Alone
I’ve been on my own for too long.
By ‘on my own’ I don’t meant lonely or without friends. I’ve got plenty of good buddies and enjoy a whole heap of activities.
I mean that I’ve not had a serious relationship this decade.
A combination of tough times, work struggles, and financial pressures drew my focus so love went on the back burner persuading myself that I had to deal with my ‘stuff’ first before I could ever allow special feelings in.
At precisely the time in life when I could do with someone who loved me, I chose to go it alone.
It’s amazing how we put off love and connection with others just when we need them most.
And what we need them most for is..our life.
Life isn’t meant to be lived alone or felt only in the heart by one. Love and life take two!
I realised that all the nights I sat at home with just a glass of wine and an old film for company waiting for the day my life was back on even keel again so that I could start looking for love, was the very time love may have been looking for me and I never spotted it or invited it closer.
I had to meet love half way.
Love is there to help and heal and listen and care. But, only if you let it.
The love of friends who adore your company
The love of family who only want the best for you
The love of children who see you as the most wonderful adult alive
The deep romantic love of another person who wants to share their heart and soul and spend the rest of their life with you
All of the above!
Times are different now. I want love and not live life alone when I come home from work at night, to go on holiday with, for those last dances at a party, or for lazy Sunday morning lie-ins.
But I also want to meet the world and open up to fully being with people. As such in the last year I’ve been to Washington DC, London three times, The New Forest, and Holland, specifically to see more of life and people and to let more people and life to see me.
I’m not being alone anymore and love is growing.
If you feel alone it’s because a) you ‘feel’ it (it may not be a reality) and b) you are letting it happen by choosing to deal with hassles by yourself. When you connect to life and the millions of people out there these begin to fade and perhaps, like mine did, magically disappear.
For every area you are alone; socially, emotionally, work related, community wise, start today moving back towards others. Be with people and let people be with you. There is where all the love and happiness you’ve ever wanted awaits you to meet it. Shake hands and say ‘hi’ with your future.
You’re not meant to live life alone, you’re meant to live life with love.
It exists when you do!
How did you stop living life alone? What helped you find love and happiness? What are your tips for connecting to and being part of the awesome world out there? Let me know your thoughts.
Image courtesy of CeeKay’s Pix’s
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Hi John,
I love to travel and it’s so wonderful to have a travelling partner to share the experience with. And the experience isn’t just the trip it’s the anticipation before the trip and the afterglow and sharing fond memories after the trip.
Riley
People are what makes out travels memorable Riley – sharing is what it’s all about. Travels = this journey called life.
Hi John,
Once we enjoy the company of ourselves, we wouldn’t feel lonely. It is all about the focus and what a person thinks and believes. If a person focuses and believes that he is lonely because he is single, then this what they get. Instead, they can connect with friends, family, and enjoy the company of themselves. Traveling and meeting with different kinds of people is a sure way to help connect with people my friend. Once we accept and love ourselves unconditionally at all times, then we are on the right path as happiness is an internal state. Thanks for sharing my friend.
I agree Dia, but it never helps to get a bit of help and a whole lotta love from a special other. I’ve finally realised I could do with that right now.
Hi John,
Are you ready for the avalanche of women who are coming your way??? I’m writing a post on how to find a partner to love and will link back here. Well said.
Tess, if the avalanche melts my lonely heart than I’m 100% ready. Bless you for sharing and caring and for pointing some love my way.
John,
I stopped living alone when I realized I couldn’t do it all by myself. The weight of the world is difficult to bear on just my shoulders alone. So, I went out and found willing parties that would help me equally distribute the weight. My wife is everything I am not. My son is inpsiration in action. The people who I surround myself with have made me who I am. I agree that life is not meant to be lived without love in one way shape or form.
Very poetic Frank and a spark to my inspiration. It reminds me of the wisdom that your hands are left with gaps between the fingers so that another’s hand can fit perfectly in them. I like that!
When I met my boyfriend he had the same mentality, he had too many things and experiences he wanted to do before he wanted to deal with love. He thought love would hold him back from the things he wanted to pursue. I looked at it in the exact opposite life. I am the type of person who thinks you can do all the things you love with someone you love. Although, I have things I love to do without him, I also have things I love to do with him. Watching a movie and sharing a glass of wine tops my list of things I love to do with him. It’s also much easier cooking for two then one. He is coming around to opening up to love. We still have a long journey ahead of him but I think he is realizing he can still do the things he loves regardless of his relationship status. I’ll keep you updated on his progress.
It sounds like your love is drawing out his love Meg, what a wonderful loving companion you are. As such he’s bound to get there and you can feel all his love in return. I wish you every happiness and let’s go to each other’s weddings!!!
Hey John: Really good post. I think that when you open yourself up to others and just focus on putting great energy out there, you can really come across a great relationships. Often times when people are too focused and feeling pressured to find someone, that is when it is the toughest. However, when you relax and are confident that in time the right person will come into your life, they often do. And, as long as you have a policy of being open and creating great relationships, you will not overlook that very special relationship once it comes your way. I really loved this message you shared … “Love is there to help and heal and listen and care. But, only if you let it.”
I’m certainly open Sibyl (God a few years ago I could never have bared my soul in public like this) and ready to receive. But it starts with me so I’m being honest with myself to know that I want love and to welcome it into my life. Anything less means accepting less.
Hi John,
The law of attraction is always working you just have to get out of your own way and allow it to come to you. Any resistance will push love away.
What you are seeking is also seeking you.
Hey Justin, great to meet you man. Long time readers will know I’m not a fan of the law of attraction but I do feel that what we communicate people respond to so….it’s time for me to settle down in love. There. it’s declared to the Universe. That I 100% believe. Love your quote, it’s a classic, “What you are seeking is also seeking you”. Brilliant!!
Hi John,
What a wonderful and honest post this is. If there’s anyone more deserving of a what they want in life, it’s you. You pour your heart into this blog for the betterment of your audience…you make honestly the focal quality wrapped with love to inspire. Thank you for that.
When I met my wife – it just happened to be at a good time for me, because we were both receptive to each other. Love sparked quickly; neither of us fitting the natural feelings that came to us. And now here we are 3 kids later and loving each other more and more each day.
I have no tips to that can top what you’ve shared in this post. I think you know exactly how it works – because you’ve lived it, and without it. I think your advice is golden, as always.
Cheers to you John!
JK you make me feel good and that it’s all worthwhile, thank you from my heart my friend. I’m busting all of my comfort zones here but being happy in love is worth it to me now like never before so here goes. Maybe one day I will look back and smile at this post as a grandpa and happy husband. You never know, you never know….
What a bitter sweet post, John. I have read about your search for love before and have been hoping that the right person will come along for you soon! It is too bad we cannot rush love and sometimes, the right circumstances have to be in place for it all to happen. It’s funny because I think the same way about children – that they would hold me back and change my life but I’d never want to be without my husband for any extended (or short) period of time so love I do need and I do desire a great deal. I think that you are meant to be and participate and give to other communities and find family and love in those because you have a huge heart and such a desire to be with people.
Nonetheless, I just pray that the right woman finds you and that before we know it, you are celebrating children and other joys in life. All my best, dear friend!
Thank you Farnoosh, you warm me indeed. If it’s meant to be it’s meant to be…..but I want it to be!
Hi John,
I can relate to how you feel. There were times in my past when I was alone and wanted to have someone in my life. It will happen for you, just don’t rush things.
Cheers Todd, I won’t rush, after all I’ve waited this long! But I won’t take too long either. You have to meet love half way.
This is wonderful. Yes, when we love who we are at our core, we can attract those that are the same. This creates great synergy and high positive outcomes.
It’s all about the love Baker – share the love and experience it. I didn’t, now I am. Feels good to say that!
hello john
how are you?
if it’s okay i wanted to remind you of one of the principles you live by(you’ve mentioned this a few times)
‘this too will pass.’
you’ve shown selfless love through your posts, touched lives, given people second opinions and you deserve the best.
you’ve poured out your heart in this post and i pray you find the right woman, experience true love, all your desires are met and things fall in place at the right time
take care of yourself and enjoy the rest of the day
You’ve got me there Ayo but it’s taken a whole lifetime to pass so far – still he who waits longest…..Be blessed my friend for all your smiling inpsiration.
John, I recall you saying to me when we met for coffee, that you hadn’t been in a serious relationship for a while, although there was this one lady who you mentioned that might have been it?
Anyway, I can testify to this post; I’ve been with my girlfriend for the past 5 1/2 months, and I can no longer remember what my life was like before I met her. It’s been that great! It’s like when we discovered TV, and the internet; once we got settled, we then wondered how we ever coped without them!
Me and my love are doing new things together, both expanding our horizons, but we’re also reducing the desire to have so many friends. We still have a few close friends, both me and her, but we don’t crave friendship to such a numerous degree. We have each other, and this love between us fulfills the majority of our needs for love, security, respect, etc.
Keep striving John, love will find you when you least expect it
Yep Stuart, I thought I’d found someone special there but not meant to be, but she’s still a most wonderful friend. Still life is full of surprises and I’m so glad you’ve had one of the best. Enjoy life together, I can see when I met you that she’s in your life to stay. Be happy.
I can relate to this. Fortunately, I have found friends I can relate well and friends that are willing to stay and comfort me during bad moments. It feels good to have friends like that.
To have such friends Lynne first you have to be one – you sound like you have. By not acting alone you won’t ever stay like that. Bravo!