If You Want To Live Happily Why You Should Go To Your Own Funeral
Your funeral won’t be the best day of your life.
Well it won’t be part of your life at all (sorry about that).
But it will teach you much.
About how you lived and what kind of person you were.
Think about a funeral you’ve attended recently. What did they say about the person now they were gone?
That he/she earned a great salary over $200,000 a year, had a string of sports cars including 3 Ferrari’s, owned 5 homes on three continents including their favourite in the Bahamas, and that the love of their life was their thousand bottle wine collection hosted in a sub-terranian vault?
Or was it that he/she was a warm hearted person who was known for having great humour that entertained everyone they met? That they adored their partner and 2 kids and would do anything for them? And how everyone was welcome to call them or turn up at their home anytime for advice and a kind face plus how they never judged a single soul or had a bad word to say about anyone?
No contest isn’t it?
What matters to many may be money and status and flash signs of success, but what matters to all of us and the world is the person they were.
That human who loves, shares, gives, supports, and lives that in their life. The man or woman whose personality and character leaves an indelible mark on everyone else.
THAT’S the difference that you make. The legacy you will leave.
So, what will they say at your funeral?
That you were a selfish millionaire who loved money more than loving itself?
Or that you were a generously giving person that the world felt the poorer for not being around?
The crazy thing is even though it’s your funeral you get to chose now. And to be that person before it’s too late.
Because it’s your funeral if you don’t!
Image courtesy of practicalowl
20 Responses to “If You Want To Live Happily Why You Should Go To Your Own Funeral”
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Great stuff John; I’ve heard a couple of versions of this going around, such as “What do you want others to say at your farewell dinner?” and “What do you want your obituary to read like?”
It helps us to get a perspective on what’s most important in life, which is beyond material needs. It’s all about helping others grow, and letting yourself grow.
Yes Stuart, it’s all about making the most of being the best person we are in our life before it’s too late.
John,
This very thought has been haunting my mind recently. If I were to leave this earth today I don’t know what people will say about me. It won’t be my status because I don’t have any. It won’t be my materials because I lack resources but I wan’t people to talk about my heart. I want to be known as a person who was willing to put someone else’s needs before my own. I want to love people unconditionally and do anything in my power to help someone else. I want my name to be remembered by my acts not by statistical facts. I love that question John it has got me doing some serious reflecting.
Self-enquiry is a valuable practice Frank, even if the question does stir the emotions like this one. Asking if we’re being the person we want to be always leads to a better ‘us’ and the type of discovery that brings us back on track. Good luck with yours!
This is difficult John…the thought of it, ya know. I’d want to be remembered by what I did for others. I think it would be great if there wasn’t enough time to speak about any of my personal achievements, due to the fact that they were all overshadowed by doing for others.
After I did it…it wasn’t so difficult after all! Thanks John!
It’s tough to face JK, yes, but it’s tougher still to face the recognition that we aren’t being true to our own character, values, beliefs, and standards when we look at ourselves. Good thing is while we’re alive we get to change it!
Interesting seed of thought you have sown. I read a brilliant quote in Robin Sharmas book, “At the end, the billionaire gets buried next to the street sweeper. We all end up as dust, so lets have some fun” how true, life isn’t about what you own, the material wealth, the car, the house it’s about what you give out and how you can make a positive differance to someone else’s life whilst enjoying the journey.
I’d requote all of your words Marion as they are exceptional thoughts. The difference we make truly is the difference we are and never the size of our wallet or home. Better a can do attitude than a condo one.
As a pastor, I’ve been to my fair share of funerals. I’ve seen those who packed out a church or funeral home – a crowd of people paying their last respects to a phenomenal human being who reached out and touched the world in a unique way. And I’ve also seen funerals that I postponed the start time to see if anyone would show up. Funerals have a funny way of showing us just what kind of impact we made. Thanks for making me think here. This was excellent.
Bryan, I first understood this when my Father died. A humble school caretaker/janitor but even though it was a mid-week funeral, the church was busier than most Sundays. We even had to delay the burial because so many people were trying to get into the cemetery. The umpteen stories told to me that day by the throng about my Dad showed me that the person you are is what you will be remembered for. He spoke to everyone, gave them a joke or laugh on the way, gave people time and a kind word, and saw nothing of status or colour as a way of treating others.
My father inspired me so much in his life but twice as much again at his own funeral.
hello john
this generates some food for thought because it raises so many questions with regards to who i am, what i’m known for, who i have inspired, what my contributions are, upholding integrity, what difference have i made and what’s my legacy. hmmmh!!!
Your contribution and legacy is the man YOU are Ayo. Know him, live as him, and you will leave behind plenty that touches this life.
I thought Bryan’s comment here was quite telling John. Funerals do have a way of truly letting us know the impact we’ve had on others.
I’d like to be known as a family man, a fighter, a teacher, a believer, and relentless pursuer of truth.
You always make me think John. Thanks for all you do bud.
Marcus
Well you’ve given yourself the attributes you want to live as Marcus and to know them so well means you’re gonna be able to achieve them. From how we’ve connected I’d say you are already that man with those in action – a fab one-of-a-kind guy!!
Me and my friends always talk about leaving a legacy. Something so great, Alexander the great will wish he could resurrect to outdo what we have accomplished. I think we should never die with our music still in us! Thats the motto! Great post John!
What if that legacy Jonathan was as much the person you were as the things you created, gave or left behind? It’s just as strong and meaningful for me.
My niece just sent me a card expressing her thanks for a plaque with the meaning of her first and middle name that I gave her when she was small. This was over 30 years ago and I had forgotten, but focusing on the meaning of her name has helped her through some rough times over the years and she wanted me to know. Here’s what I’d like to add to this conversation – In addition to pondering what legacy you will leave, why not let someone know right now how they’ve touched your life? Don’t wait until their funeral and tell others – instead, tell them now while you can.
Crystal, first welcome to my blog and second what a magnificent statement to tell what love exists within you before funerals ever come round. I cannot agree enough. Why wait till it’s too late when your love could change everything?